Hospitality: The Overlooked Virtue

Photo by Jimmy Dean on Unsplash

I felt like an archaeologist digging through the church closets the other day. I found racks of tracks, overhead projectors, and one box that brought memories flooding back. It contained a film strip projector and a record player. Do you remember visiting someone’s home, setting up a screen, unpacking a projector, and loading the Jules Miller filmstrips? I would dim the lights, start the record, and listen for the “ding” that signaled it was time to advance to the next slide.

Books, tracks, filmstrips, and a myriad of methods to share the gospel were great, but there is something I believe is even more effective: hospitality. Making friends is fundamental to sharing the good news about Jesus. It’s not a method or a program. Hospitality is just opening your home and your life to others. It’s as simple as sharing a smile and a cup of coffee and filling your life with friends.

However, there is a huge difference between “entertaining” and “hospitality.” Karen Mains in her book, Open Heart, Open Home (Elgin, Ill.: Cook, 1976) explains the difference:

Entertaining says, “I want to impress you with my home, my clever decorating, my cooking.” Hospitality, seeking to minister, says, “This home is a gift from my Master. I use it as He desires.” Hospitality aims to serve.
 
Entertaining puts things before people. “As soon as I get the house finished, the living room decorated, my housecleaning done—then I will start inviting people. Hospitality puts people first. “No furniture—we’ll eat on the floor.” “The decorating may never get done—you come anyway.” “The house is a mess—but you are friends—come home with us.” Entertaining subtly declares, “This home is mine, an expression of my personality. Look, please, and admire.” Hospitality whispers, “What is mine is yours.”

I know concerns about covid have put a damper on the practice of hospitality, but maybe we can find ways to revive this essential Christian practice. (The Apostle Paul makes hospitality an essential qualification for a man to serve as an elder! 1 Timothy 3:2 – 3) Who doesn’t love a picnic or a cookout? Perhaps our need to practice hospitality will serve as another reason for us to be vaccinated. Let’s close with these admonitions:

Paul reminded the Romans: Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality (Romans 12:11 – 13).

And he told Titus: For an overseer, as God’s steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, but hospitable (Titus 1:7 – 8).

The Hebrew writer said: “Let brotherly love continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares” (Hebrews 13:1 – 2).

Finally, the Apostle Peter says, “Show hospitality to one another without grumbling” (1 Peter 4:9).

Working from Strength

Santa Teresa under sail
Santa Teresa under sail

A few years ago, Jan and I were living aboard our old wooden sailboat, Santa Teresa, in San Diego Bay. We were moored about a quarter-mile off the beach by the San Diego bridge. It was Saturday, and we were busy sanding and varnishing Teresa. It was a beautiful sunny summer’s day. At that point in my life, I was teaching computer applications for a company that provided education to businesses, and life was good. San Teresa was a grand old girl, 40 feet long, and she weighed sixteen tons. She wasn’t fast, but she could take you anywhere.

She wasn’t in a hurry, and I was where I wanted to be the moment I set foot on her. Then my boss came roaring up in his powerful speedboat. Four outboards graced his stern, and he raced around and around us. White foam rocked us as he shouted arrogantly, “Hey! McKeel! Wanna race?”

I looked up and replied, “Sure!” That surprised him. Then I suggested, “Let’s race to Hawaii!” I will never forget the look on his face as he roared away to the boat ramp.

The point today is “Work from strength, not weakness.” That’s especially true for churches. Instead of groaning about what we don’t have, open your eyes, and count your blessings. What has God given us? Rabbits aren’t the fastest swimmers, but they can run like the wind. Dolphins are pitiful when they are stranded on shore, but they are faster than torpedoes under the waves.

The strategy for one congregation probably isn’t going to apply in a different situation, so we need to carefully consider how God has blessed your church. The best place to begin is with the people – they are the church after all – but you will need to be careful. It is tempting to ask people what we need to do, and they will likely tell you what they think you need to do! A better question is to ask them what they want to do.

Sadly, people may be thinking in church-speak. They will probably think of churchy things to do like preaching, teaching, and leading singing. Instead, help them explore their passion and then think of ways to glorify God with that passion.

I once had a young man in my study, and I asked him that question. “What are you passionate about?”

He replied, “Well, it’s not leading songs, that’s for sure. Other than that, I can’t think of anything I can do at church.”

“No,” I said. “I asked, what are you passionate about? What do you enjoy doing?”

A skeptical smirk came across his face. “Fly fishing,” he answered. “I like to fish.” He thought he had stumped me.

“That’s great!” I said.

“Wait a minute, preacher. I know where you’re going with this. You want me to sing songs with my fishing buddies and have a Bible study by the river when we get there!”

I laughed. “No, no, no. I expect you to do guys things: tell bad jokes, lie about the fish you’ve caught, and complain about work.”

He raised his confused eyebrows.

“Look,” I explained. “You’ll be on the frontline for the Lord. One day one of your buddies is going to be hurting. He may have trouble at home or at the shop. He’s not going to call one of the elders or me. He’s going to turn to his fishing buddy – you – and ask for help. There are times in everyone’s life when they have to face the big questions, and God will have put you there to help him find the answers.” He started nodding. “God is using you. Let your light shine – and remember – I really like fresh trout.”

What is your strength?

Big Church – Small Church: God’s Church

The Groton Church of Christ, Groton, Connecticut

We often complain about what we don’t have: “If only we had …” when the fact is, God has given us everything we need to glorify him in this place. Do you remember the letter Jesus wrote to the church in Philadelphia (Revelation 3:7 – 13)? He said, “Behold, I have set before you an open door, which no one is able to shut.”

God the Father loves us, and Jesus his Son has blessed his churches. Our first task as a church is to recognize God has given us everything (and everyone) we need to glorify Him in this place. It’s easy to envy the Megachurches with their buildings, money, and talented staff, but, for most of us, that isn’t relevant. Sam Rainier writes:

Two simple statistics help explain the American church. There are other important church stats, but these two may surprise you.

  1. The median church size is 75 people.
  2. The median church age is 73 years.

Most American churches are smaller—under 100 people. Most American churches are older—existing for several decades. The story of the American church is one of small, established congregations.

Either most churches are failures (or dying), or we are missing something important, and I believe it is the latter. In the New Testament, we tend to think of the Jerusalem church as normative with her thousands of members, but that discounts the vast majority of churches such as Colossae, Philippi, and Rome where small groups of Christians gathered in people’s homes. I believe those congregations glorified the Lord just as much as the huge church in Jerusalem. So why do we grade churches by their physical size? Jim Belcher wrote in the introduction to Brandon O’Brien’s book, Small Church, Big Impact:

According to the Hartford Institute for Religion Research, 94 percent of all existing churches have less than five hundred attendees, and two-thirds of these have less than one hundred. Churches of more than two thousand attendees represent less than one-half of one percent of all churches in America. As I sat at the conference, I wondered why we hold these mega-churches up as the model of ministry for every church. Is it because, I asked myself, they are large and “successful”? Yet if the majority of pastors are serving at small churches and these conferences are meant to equip and encourage these pastors, why are there no small-church pastors up on the big stage who can teach us what it means to be a small-church pastor? Certainly, there are some amazing leaders and teachers at small churches. Could it be because we have bought into the notion that small churches are failed churches and they can only become successful if they follow a certain plan and grow to a certain size? Why have we allowed the ministry experience of one-half of one percent of all churches to become the standard by which we judge the remaining 99.5 percent of churches? What if we saw reality differently? What if God’s plan for most churches is to be small? What if the best model for the church is to stay under five hundred people, and even closer to the tipping point of one hundred fifty? Could it be that we have hundreds of thousands of insecure, depressed small-church pastors who have no reason to feel inadequate? And if we changed our perspective, dreamed a different dream, what difference would it make, not just for the psyche of the pastors in America but for the advancement of God’s kingdom purposes?—Jim Belcher, author of Deep Church[1]

Exercise
So how does the Lord judge a church? What makes her faithful?


[1] O’Brien, Brandon J. (2011-07-31T23:58:59). Small Church, Big Impact (Ebook Shorts). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

We’re Not Small. We’re Intimate!

Preaching
Gordon Gower preaching

It’s easy to focus on what’s missing, especially when we care about our congregation. I half-jokingly tell people, “We’re not small – we’re intimate.” It’s easy to classify churches quantifiably: big budgets, beautiful buildings, with jam-packed parking lots, but I don’t believe God is all that impressed. It’s easy to focus on what’s missing. That kind of thinking usually begins with the words “if only.” “If only we had a better preacher.” “If only we had more classrooms.” “If only we had more people.” “If only, if only, if only.”

Instead, spend some time thinking about these five principles:

  1. God has given us everything (and everyone) we need to glorify Him in this place. 
  2. We need to work from strengths and not weaknesses.
  3. Focus on friendship! Hospitality works.
  4. Support what works. If people aren’t willing to attend or participate in a program/activity, let it go.
  5. A congregation is no stronger than her leadership. If the leadership is neglected and tired, the congregation is in big trouble.

I believe we need to recognize and use what God has given us. It is His Church. He is in control, and I believe God has given us everything (and everyone) we need to do His will in this place. God is not going to hold us accountable for what we don’t have! We will not be numbered with the goats because we do not have a JOY bus program. (Remember those?) God is vitally concerned with how we use what He has given us. Isn’t that the point of the Parable of the Talents? Therefore, I don’t believe He will give us more until we use what we already have.

A corollary to this belief is that we need to work from strengths, not weaknesses. For example, once I encountered a dying congregation. The average age of her members was somewhere just over 70. They decided they needed more young families and to accomplish that, they hired a youth minister and a pulpit minister who had a young family. This church was working from weakness, not strength. Why not reach out to the seniors in their community? That would have given them an authentic voice. 

Likewise, no two congregations are alike. Corinth was very different from Antioch! What makes your congregation unique? Don’t focus on what is missing – focus on what God has blessed you with!

Exercise

Churches are made up of people, so let’s begin there. Most of the people reading my little articles are people. Have you asked yourself what gifts, talents, experiences, and opportunities God has given you? Take a moment to answer the question, what makes you special? What are you passionate about?

It Takes Time

“Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit.” – Aristotle

In 2008, the University of Kansas announced, it takes time to make friends:

In a new report published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, Associate Professor of Communication Studies Jeffrey Hall found that it takes roughly 50 hours of time together to move from mere acquaintance to casual friend, 90 hours to go from that stage to simple “friend” status and more than 200 hours before you can consider someone your close friend.

This means time spent hanging out, joking around, playing video games and the like. Hours spent working together just don’t count as much, Hall’s study found.

“We have to put that time in,” Hall said. “You can’t snap your fingers and make a friend. Maintaining close relationships is the most important work we do in our lives — most people on their deathbeds agree.”

It seems like friendship has fallen on hard times. Perhaps we are just too busy to make and maintain friendships, but what a tragedy that is! To the ancients, friendship seemed the happiest and most fully human of all loves, the crown of life and the school of virtue. The modern world in comparison virtually ignores friendship. For modern, friendship is only a diversion.

I wonder why? Perhaps because so few people experience it. People often mistake companionship for friendship. Most of us must go back to our high school days to recall relationships where we honestly rejoiced in each other’s triumphs. Be the time we reach college; we have learned to become too competitive to become friends. We don’t socialize with the people at work because “it might be bad for business.” Perhaps we fear relationships because they would obligate us. Frankly, C.S. Lewis observed friendship is the least natural of the loves. We can live and breed apart from it.

On the other hand, friendship is one of the things that makes life worthwhile. Make time for your friends this week!

Exercise

  1. What is the difference between a “friend” and an “acquaintance”? Do you make friends easily?
  2. Does “friendship evangelism” seem like an oxymoron to you?
  3. Why were the disciples so eager to introduce their friends to Jesus? Why are so many people today hesitant to do the same?
  4. Do you have any friendships that you would treasure in heaven? Pray about them this week.

Some Heavy Theology

My son John always asked hard questions as he was growing up. I remember one time we were talking about how Jesus was wholly God and wholly Man. (That’s a tough subject for anyone of any age!) Finally, he thrust his hands into his pockets, looked up shrugging and said, “That’s some heavy theology, Dad.”

I believe it is important – no – imperative that we ask the tough questions. Believe it or not, just as surrounding ourselves in nature brings us closer to God, so wrestling with difficult concepts draws us closer to the Lord. We learn to appreciate him more as we begin to understand who he is and what he does. Knowledge is another pathway to God, but it is a dangerous road too, full of bends and bumps. The Apostle Paul warned Timothy:

As I urged you when I was going to Macedonia, remain at Ephesus so that you may charge certain persons not to teach any different doctrine, nor to devote themselves to myths and endless genealogies, which promote speculations rather than the stewardship from God that is by faith. The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith. Certain persons, by swerving from these, have wandered away into vain discussion, desiring to be teachers of the law, without understanding either what they are saying or the things about which they make confident assertions (1 Timothy 1:3 – 7).

Arius the Heretic

An example of this was Arius – perhaps the most famous heretic in history. Tall, thin, pale, and charming, Arius tried to distinguish between the Father, and the Son. According to Arius: “The Father existed before the Son. There was a time when the Son did not exist. Therefore, the Son was created by the Father. Therefore, although the Son was the highest of all creatures, he was not of the essence of God.”[1]

Trying to explain how we believe in three members of the Trinity (which makes it seem like we believe in three gods), who are in fact one God, is what we call a “Mystery.” It’s like an axiom in mathematics. These are “facts” that are assumed to be true since they are considered to be “self-evident.” An axiom is a statement that is accepted without proof. For example, “Things equal to the same thing are equal to each other.” (In math terms: if a = b, and b = c, then a = c.)

In theology, we can’t explain how three Persons (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit) can be one: a unity. But it is reasonable to think, things that are reasonable in God’s world, would seem unreasonable in our world. For example, our world is bound by time: past, present, and future, but those terms have no meaning to a God without beginning or end – eternal. Likewise, our world is bound by physical dimensions: height, depth, and width, but those terms are meaningless to an omnipresent Lord. So, it is reasonable to think these things are unreasonable. We accept them by faith. John was right. That is some “heavy theology.”


[1] Douglas, J. D. (1992). Arius. In J. D. Douglas & P. W. Comfort (Eds.), Who’s Who in Christian history (pp. 35–36). Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House.

Heaven: It’s More Than You Can Imagine

Kansas photo by John McKeel

It has always surprised me how little the Bible talks about heaven. In the New Testament, the Sadducees didn’t even believe in life after death! So why don’t we hear more about our eternal reward? I suspect the answer has to do with our inability even to begin to comprehend heaven.

Imagine a world without time. Here on earth, we are entirely wrapped up in the past, present, and future. It’s not just days, months, and years, but now we measure seconds, milliseconds (10−3 seconds), microseconds (10−6 seconds), nanoseconds (10−9 seconds), picoseconds (10−12 seconds), and the zeptosecond (10−21 seconds). According to Wikipedia, the zepto second is a “Time measurement scale of the NIST strontium atomic clock. Smallest fragment of time currently measurable is 247 zeptoseconds.” But then there is the “jiffy” in physics. (That’s a legitimate measurement of time equal to “The amount of time light takes to travel one fermi (about the size of a nucleon) in a vacuum.) On the other hand, I believe the smallest measurable amount of time is equal to the time it takes for a stoplight to turn green and the first person to honk their horn.

Heaven is a world without time, but it is also a world without dimensions. Three dimensions on earth bind us, but God is not. He is everywhere. How could we all fit into the Holy City, the New Jerusalem, if we were bound by space?

Therefore, the descriptions of the New Heaven and the New Earth in Revelation chapters 21 and 22 must be symbolic, but that is more than enough to whet our appetites! Let’s consider first, the New Heaven and the New Earth will be a place where God dwells with us (Revelation 21:3). There he will wipe away every tear. There will be no more death. Everything will be new (not remodeled). What will be missing there? First, there is no Temple (21:22). In the Old Temple, the presence of God was especially in the Holy of Holies separated from us by a curtain behind the doors of the Holy Place, restricted to only the priests. In the New Heaven, we will be with God!

We should also ask, “What is missing?” There is no night to stumble in or fear. God himself is the light! Nothing unclean is there.

So, what is there? Chapter 22 tells us the River of Life and the Tree of Life are there. Do you hear a theme? LIFE is there, and for Christians, that LIFE begins now. Jesus promised: “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly” (John 10:10).

Hands

Photo by Norbert Hentges on Unsplash

No feeling matches holding a newborn baby. That little life is so special and wondrous, but the most memorable experience for me was the feeling of that tiny hand wrapped around just one of my fingers. Do you remember later walking in the playground hand in hand with your child?

Touch conveys so much. When the leper begged Jesus was mercy, Jesus not only healed him; Jesus touched him (Luke 5:13). He didn’t need to do that, and lesser men might have recoiled from the stinking leper with open sores. I suspect the touch of the Master’s hand meant almost as much as the healing itself.

Do you remember folk-dancing classes in Junior High School? “Let’s all join hands and dance in a circle!” I blushed to hold her hand, but it was a joyous occasion!

Jesus healed Peter’s mother-in-law by touching her hand (Matthew 8:15). In the next chapter, the synagogue ruler begs Jesus to touch his daughter’s hand and heal her, but the little girl was already dead when they arrived. Can you imagine her father’s grief as he touched her cold, lifeless hand? Still, Jesus took her by the hand and raised her from the dead (Matthew 9:25). What inexpressible joy her father must have felt to hold his daughter’s hand once more, but this time full of warmth and life!

Time won’t allow us to tell how Jesus reached out and took Peter’s hand, allowing him to walk on water once more (Matthew 14:31). Jesus blessed the little children by laying his hands on them (Matthew 19). A woman who was disabled and unable to stand up straight was healed when Jesus laid his hands on her (Luke 13:13). Before Jesus returned to the Father, he lifted his hands and blessed his disciples (Luke 24:50).

As we close this thought, use your imagination. Picture a fearful time. Now feel the hand of your father taking your hand. Everything is going to be alright.

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand (John 10:27 – 29).

Smirks of Insight

Mt. Elbert

This past week, Jan and I took our vacation and visited one of my favorite places on earth: Buena Vista, Colorado. I was a ministry intern for the summer there over 40 years ago. I returned with youth groups many times after that and climbed most of the Collegiate Peaks (mountains over 14,000 feet high) with them. This time was different. Not only had the town changed, but I had changed too. The best I could do was drive to the trailhead and sound like an old guy. “I remember when ….”

It’s hard growing older. I can’t run five miles anymore, and I am beginning to think I can count every hair on my head. I watched the youngsters hoist their packs on their backs and charge up the trails. I pretended I was just there to take pictures of the wildflowers (which I was), but there was a twinge of envy too. They were young, and thin, and fit, laughing as they marched to the places I remembered.

When I was a teenager, an eighty-year-old Austrian climber taught one of my mountaineering classes. He jumped up on the table and began marching back and forth, demonstrating how it was done. Omie’s legs were like steel cables, and he laughed infectiously as he talked. Of course, the state of Washington wouldn’t renew his driver’s license (he was “too old”), but he was always one of my heroes. “I’m going to be like that when I grow old!” I promised, but age catches up with all of us, and too much time behind a desk and too many desserts spoiled my intentions.

But before we begin feeling sorry for our saggy selves, I wouldn’t trade places with the young for anything. Hopefully, with age comes some measure of wisdom. We begin seeing the outcomes of certain actions with laser-like clarity. Sadly, no one listens to our sage advice, and we learn to keep our mouths shut unless someone asks for it. Likewise, with age comes a certain amount of comfort with ourselves. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone anymore. The uncertainty of youth is replaced with smirks of insight.

I believe Solomon wrote his last book, Ecclesiastes, as an old man. Listen to some of his wisdom:

  • And I commend joy, for man has nothing better under the sun but to eat and drink and be joyful, for this will go with him in his toil through the days of his life that God has given him under the sun (Ec 8:15).
  • Go, eat your bread with joy, and drink your wine with a merry heart, for God has already approved what you do. Let your garments be always white. Let not oil be lacking on your head. Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of your vain life that he has given you under the sun because that is your portion in life and in your toil at which you toil under the sun. Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might (Ec 9:7 – 10).
  • So if a person lives many years, let him rejoice in them all; (Ec 11:8).

Actions Speak Louder

Grace is such a precious gift, and it is the heart of the Christian message. Other religions are tied to making amends for our sins. They attempt to earn salvation by being “good enough.” It makes sense that good people would go to the good place when they die. Even some Christian religions believe their “saints” were so good; they received a super-abundance of merit that they can share with those who are lacking. (Thus, people pray to the saints asking for them to help them out.)

Photo by Austin Distel on Unsplash

Of course, the issue is: No one is good enough to merit a place in heaven. This is such a difficult concept! Grace is counterintuitive. Why would God simply forgive us? Don’t we have to earn it? No. Grace is possible because of the sacrifice of Jesus, and there you have it. It is such great news – it is almost unbelievable!

But if we have been forgiven, how should we live after that? Cerenthus, affectionately known as “the heretic,” taught that we could never be lost once we have been forgiven. It doesn’t matter how we live after that. No wonder the Apostle John was so appalled by him! (1st John was written in response to Cerenthus and his heretical friends.) Cerenthus used this crude illustration to support his belief. “When we become Christians, our souls become something like a gold ring. If you drop that ring in a pile of donkey dung, it doesn’t change the ring at all. It is still gold.” That may be true, but I’m not going to put it on my finger! Cerenthus believed, when we become Christians, we are transformed into something like gold. He went on to encourage Christians to experience sin so they would appreciate grace! Sin then becomes a good thing! The Apostle Paul encountered people like Cerenthus and wrote to the Romans, “What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it?” (Romans 6:1 – 2)

Jude encountered people who believed like Cerenthus. “For certain people have crept in unnoticed who long ago were designated for this condemnation, ungodly people, who pervert the grace of our God into sensuality and deny our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ” (verse 4).

In his teaching, Jude goes beyond the Apostle Paul. By their perverted actions, these people deny the lordship of Jesus Christ. In other words, our actions do not lie. If you claim to be a Christian, you must act like a Christian! In the coming days, we will explore other examples from Jude’s tiny letter that illustrate this important truth. In the meantime, remember Grandma’s observation: “Actions speak louder than words.”